Parenting as a rule of thumb
By Edwin Alivionote
The life of married couple has being designed by God to be blessed with children or in some cases a child, which makes them ultimately become parents. Parenting is the lifestyle of a married man and a woman who have kid(s) under their care to groom and nurture. The culture inherent in every family is unique to that family. Culture here, refers to the way and method of nursing the kid(s). Many children have had to refer their parents to other parental style they fancy as the best way to care for them. Likewise, many parents have had to refer their wards to some other kid(s) as having the potential response that they seek from the children.
However, the quest for meeting up the demand, whether from the parents angle or the children, the fact still remains that every family is unique and their circumstances is peculiar to them. The need to continually seek to understand the children should be the duty of the parents. This should not be treated with levity on the grounds of familiarity. The children too, are supposed to be submissive in the moulding hands of the parents, to get the best out of the parents-children synergy. This synergy, tightly knotted by family bond, is meant to bring out the best of the kids, who are the representative of the future family. The ability to corporate with the guardian, who are better positioned to minimize your personal mistakes, is a winning attitude of the 21st century African child.
A child has the parent as the immediate guardian and mentor. The parents should see their role from the ambiance of what is obtainable and achievable, within the space of their environment, ambit of their capacity and the cycle of their cultural values. The diversity of our philosophies makes up the ingredients that will add up to society success and development. The much desired practice of wanting to adopt some rules and rigid principles in the child’s upbringing has the tendency to bring forth short term positive results accompanied with long term negative results. Hence, if parenting is designed for grooming the young child into adulthood while, the parent age with the relief of his/her good works then, there is need to get it right by natural convention.
Natural convention simply requires the parent to see each child as unique requiring care that will be advanced with time. There is need to be open minded towards the child’s feelings, emotions, personality, gift, intelligence, mind frame and above all, the child’s spirituality. A child often exude to the parents the best way to relate with him/her such that if well grasped, can be utilized to achieving the best result of child-moulding. The moulding of a child is not intended to yield a short term result hence, the need to patiently work it out with your child. The issue of attitude, personality, character and mindset are all what the child will develop growing up. The child who may not see the value of parental effort at the onset, will grow up understanding better and have the parent(s) to appreciate in future time, when the essence becomes obvious.
Parenting has been designed to make up leaders and society professionals for the next generation. As serious as this role seems, it becomes less demanding when parents understand that, the job is in helping the child understand self better for maximum exploit. The role of parenting does not imply forcefully coercing the child into achieving the parent(s)/guardian fantasy. The desired destiny of a child is the one he/she chooses by himself or herself, followed by the consent/blessings of the parents. But, before the child grows to choosing a path, parenting grooms this child to make informed and knowledgeable decision.
Edwin Alivionote is a Public Affairs Analyst.