By Ishola Taiwo
Yes O, no egbe for President. It is quite simply too dangerous if Nigeria is led by one that can be described as egbe. As it becomes less deniable that there never was a cease-fire between the federal government and Boko Haram, we can now expect the same people who made the (triumphal) announcement to embark upon a cascade of pathetic attempts to spin themselves out of the deep dirty hole that they dug for themselves (at no-one’s prompting) and jumped into headfirst (without encouragement from anybody).
Audacious incompetence has become a signature of the Jonathan regime and its pilot-fish. So, after this latest unnecessary f**k-up, they can be relied upon to start discordant choruses about how ‘Boko Haram’ was not serious when it declared a cease-fire.
Spin. What became obvious almost immediately was that a so-called cease-fire was never declared by ‘boko-haram’. The Jonathan regime declared the cease-fire and the truth that they will now attempt to bury under an avalanche of fake outrage is that this cease-fire was a fraud that was knowingly purchased so that the regime’s so-called ‘transformation ambassadors’ could have something to sing about at the Abuja rally where Goodluck was to formally declare his intention to run again for office.
Meanwhile, the real price of this one day’s ‘good news’ will be the solidification of a universal consensus that these are just another bunch of Negro buffoons – which is sad, because while Nigeria’s image has been ugly for long, it has never been this ugly. The serial miscalculations in policy expression and implementation that this government is responsible for has taken the ugliness into the realm of circus ugly.
Egbe de President? Let me count the ways: You say you have agreed to a ceasefire with Boko Haram. So your attack munkays (AKA spokesapes) go before the world’s press and make announcements. You then instruct a military that is nursing it’s hurt pride to stop all operations against boko haram. You give grief-striken parents false hope…
You do all this because you want good news for one day. You are like the man who early in the morning builds a mansion with sand on a beach that he knows will flooded by evening. You build your mansion of sand, call out your praise-singers and tell them to go around town beating drums and gongs while declaring loudly to all with ears to hear that a wise man has just built himself an impregnable Palace.
You take the counsel of simpletons and unprincipled persons whose sense of discernment is constantly overwhelmed by gross appetites.
To govern successfully, you need more than good luck. You must also be able to recognise the good plans that stand a high chance of success and, you must be able to recognise the opposite (i.e. the bad plans that are likely to fail). The CEO who presides for long is usually a man who says ‘no’ when people come to him with bad plans.
You should have said ‘no’ when they came to you and asked you to give them money for weapons. And after the silly plan turned up its toes and died, you should have had the sense to try and bury it as quietly as possible, which means, with some humility. But no, you carried on taking directions from lost people. So, you allowed them to admit (with great haughtiness) that they had indeed attempted to commit the crimes of money-laundering and illegal arms-purchase. They had done these things because they were acting on behalf of the government. You even allowed them to brandish paperwork which in reality, does nothing more than serve as evidence that your government condoned the commitment of crimes in a ‘friendly’ foreign country. Sweet mother of oil!!
The two above are only the latest. The one that may define you in history as Egbe de President is how, for the last six years, you have done little to re-unite your people with their stolen property rights. For six years, instead of using your powers to legally direct the disposition of resources, you instead preferred the easier but less inviolable option of simply allowing a few of your cronies to join in with those who had been benefitting from injustice.
In other words, rather than use your temporary grasp ‘federal might’ to demolish where possible (or otherwise degrade) all laws that had been made by foreigners to enable legalised theft of your patrimony, you joined with them and robbed your own house.
Ishola Taiwo is on linkedin